Once a violent act takes place in a relationship, the violence almost always reoccurs. In fact, it tends to get more severe and more frequent as time goes on. This happens even when the man apologizes and promises to change after a violent incident. Therefore, it is extremely important that you think ahead about what to do in the case of another attack.

BEFORE AN ATTACK

• Make Contacts. Read this handbook and contact one of the agencies listed on the last page to find out what you can do the next time your husband or lover becomes violent.
• Have Quick Access To: a phone, cash, clothing and important items such as: car title and keys, birth certificates, apartment lease, marriage license, Public Aid I.D. and medical cards, records of your husband's income, a list of phone numbers to call for shelter or transportation, credit cards, blank checks, bank books, and this handbook. If possible, keep an emergency kit with keys, cash and essential papers together in an old purse or other small container so that you can easily and quickly grab for it and leave.

DURING AN ATTACK

• Defend and Protect Yourself.
• Call for Help. Scream loudly and continuously. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He does.
• Get Away. Escape if you can. Go to a relative's or friend's house or a domestic violence shelter.
• Call the Police. The police must now attempt to protect you from further abuse. They are required to provide or arrange transportation to a hospital or safe place for you and are encouraged to arrest your abuser if they have enough evidence of a crime. They must give you a paper explaining your rights and telling you of one social service agency which can help.

There is increasing evidence that calling the police will make your abuser less likely to hit you again in the future. There is also evidence that being arrested makes an abuser far less likely to repeat his violent behavior toward you. While not always successful, involving the police can help make you safer.

AFTER AN ATTACK

• Seek Medical Attention Immediately. Tell the doctor or nurse what happened and ask them to take pictures of your injuries. Find out how to get copies of your records if you need them later.
• Make a Police Report even if you do not want your abuser arrested. The report will become evidence of past abuse which might prove helpful in the future (e.g., in a custody dispute). The abuser will not be notified you made the report. If possible, the report should be done within 24 hours of the abuse.
• Save Evidence. The police should tell you how to preserve evidence in case you want to take legal action. Evidence includes copies of medical records and police reports, dated photographs of your injuries or the house in disarray, torn clothing, any weapons used, and statements from anyone who heard or saw the attack.
• Talk to Someone about the choices you have. This handbook will give you information about whom to call for help, and what some of your choices are. Find out about the legal remedies now available to you through a Domestic Violence Order of Protection.

Remember, most abusers become more violent over time. Beatings tend to become more severe and more frequent. Even though you may be afraid, take action NOW! Your safety and the safety of your children may depend upon your willingness to act. It is more dangerous to do nothing than to take some action.

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